Craig’s Cowboy Cadillac

For Craig Week 2021, I have decided to tell about a chapter in his life that few others experienced. I call it “Craig’s Cowboy Cadillac.”

Riding the range and being strange …

Those who are familiar with me, Craig, and especially our World-Famous-In-Kansas country-rock band “The Bunk House Boys” know all about the Bunk House Bus. On this very web site, there are some pictures, and maybe even of some stories about our adventures in this fabled bus. Legend has it that the vehicle is still cruising around Kansas — pretty good for a 1956 Chevy bus!

Craig was really into vehicles and driving. He did it his way, though — and that is not the way anyone else would do it.

I remember he had a piece of junk old pickup truck that he got swindled out of. We lived in Wichita as swinging bachelors back in 1980-89. He decided to sell the pickup and had a few people call or drive by but no real buyers. UNTIL — this old scammer named Arly Jester (so sue me — I’m mentioning names) came over to dicker with him.

Arly just wanted a piece of junk old truck to haul things around in so he could make some money. He didn’t have much. He took advantage of Craig’s good nature and sympathy. If he could give Craig $50 down and then pay the rest off when he started earning money hauling junk, then he’d take the truck right away. Of course, he had to have the title to register the truck and insure it. As you can guess, Craig agreed.

Good old Craig … honest as the day is long and a heart of gold. But he never saw Arly Jester again. He called — but no answer. No answering machine, and this was long before voicemail and texting and email.

Arly — the old crook — got the truck for $50. I think Craig’s asking price was $300, so it’s not as bad as it sounds. Well, yeah, maybe it is.

Lesson learned.

Craig once bought a full sized van — can’t remember if it was Ford or Chevy or whatever. But he converted it into his mobile motel. Yep, he had a queen-sized mattress in the back, just ready for action. How did he make out? He never kissed-and-told — not even to me. And if he did, I’d never tell. As a matter of fact, I’m not even going to reveal what town we lived in at this time.

Another time Craig bought a used — well used — car. A big sedan like they made in the 70s. It was cheap — and for a reason.

The car had spent some time underwater. I’m not sure if it was in some farm pond or perhaps it was one of those vehicles that were on the market as salvage after a huge hurricane and flood down south.

Whatever the problem, the car had a messed up electrical system. The lights, the radio, even the cigarette lighter (you ever hear of those?) were all messed up. But the worst part was when summer came and the sponge foam in the upholstered seats started releasing the nauseating odor of … well, maybe a farm pond. Or maybe a Gulf Coast flood.

Whatever it was — it would gag a goat.

This is NOT Craig’s Cowboy Caddy — but can give you a general idea of what I mean.

But the Cowboy Cadillac — that was something really special. It was painted gold — a factory coating, with a white hard-top — not at all unattractive. I can’t tell you what model of Caddy it was (I’m not much on cars or any vehicles really). But it had been owned by an oil wildcatter, legend said. This guy either struck it rich or just wanted to look like it.

The car had silver dollars, half dollars and quarters super-glued to the dash board. Just to give it his own touch, Craig attached steer horns on the radiator.

Country star Webb Pierce’s car is what Craig aspired to with his Cowboy Caddy

The Cowboy Cadillac was a unique vehicle suited to Craig’s personality. Oh I wish I had pictures of it — maybe one of our friends has one in a scrap book somewhere. I have absolutely no mementos of those times. I’ll have to check with brother Bart next time I talk to him.

Craig — being Craig — wouldn’t be constrained by roads and highways. He would take off across a pasture as if driving a 4×4 vehicle. Definitely off-road. He enjoyed playing the country gentleman. And he was — just not a rich oil man.

I keep dreaming that one day, there will be some reason for a museum. Either Craig will be famous, or maybe me, or Bart, or The Bunk House Boys. The someone will get the bus and the Cowboy Cadillac and any existing photos, posters, and recordings to save for posterity.

It could happen.

I sincerely hope it does.

Anyway, Happy Craig Week, 20201.

Next entry will be the story of the lost recordings of the Bunk House Boys.