Probably 40 years ago (I don’t have the exact date) my family owned a small, minor newspaper in an out-of-the-way little town in a nationally-insignificant news market, in which I wrote an article about food.

This was well before the day when it was expected of one to snap a photo of one’s meal and publish it on the most accessible mass-media platform in the universe. In fact, now that I think back, I am disappointed that I was not able to “Yelp” and was limited to a potential audience of less than 10,000.

On the positive side, (unlike today’s web audience) nearly all of them knew how to read.

However, I found a report that was obviously buried by a massive government conspiracy (the USDA) about food purity.

Yes, I Blew-The-Whistle on what our sneaky government was trying to do to innocent and ignorant consumers by serving them contaminated food. I was the Edward Snowden, the Wikileaks, the Pentagon Papers of yucchhhy food.

Because ancient technology (1970s) was unable to guarantee absolutely pure food to be presented to the unwitting citizens of the greatest country in the Universal History, the government allowed the grocery-processing-industrial-complex to include up to certain limited amounts of things like insect parts, rat hair and feces and even … GASP! … human skin, hair and fingernails!

Well, this revelation caused a nationwide …. ummmm … statewide … er, uh … well, nobody actually commented on it. But I’m sure that somewhere a farm wife looked up from her Barcalounger during “Someone’s In The Kitchen With Dinah” (this would have been when she was canoodling with Burt Reynolds) and said, “Hey, Harve — do you know what those Commie Pinko Guv’mint agents are slippin’ into our food?”

To which her husband would undoubtedly reply, “Hush! They’s rats in the silo and they’s eatin’ all our wheat and poopin’ in it too!”
I was reminded of this by a recent article that reveals that nothing has changed.

Ahh … so on top of the many new problems we have in the modern world, we find there are still all of the OLD problems to contend with. And some people still insist on ending a sentence with a preposition!

Is this the end of America? Will the world survive?

Oh yeah, there’s also a presidential election coming and we are still at war and a couple new diseases have been discovered which are very dangerous to babies.

And now, back to your social media and funny videos of kitties and urban legends about Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg trying to give their money away to you for doing very little if anything.

Don’t Panic.